Whether you're having trouble with the rhythm, rhyme, story arc, characters or plot, or you just want a fresh set of eyes (and ears) for your rhyming story - I can help!
Here's what you can expect from my critique:
I will look at the overall story:
-- Is the plot working?
-- Does the story pull the reader in?
-- Is there a satisfying ending?
-- Is the story appropriate for its targeted audience?
I will do a line-by-line review of both rhythm and rhyme.
I will make suggestions about word cuts or changes and check overall grammar.
I will point out what is working, what isn't and why.
I will answer any follow-up questions you may have about the critique.
Please send your critique request through my contact page or email me at Lori@Loridegman.com. When I receive your request, I'll give you a time frame for when I could complete your critique. If you decide to purchase the critique, use the links below, then send your manuscript as a Word document. Put "critique - your last name" in the subject line.
Please DO NOT purchase your critique before I’ve committed to doing it.
Worth every penny
“At first I thought the price of Lori's critique was a bit high, then I received my critique and it was worth every penny. It was hugely detailed and rather than just listing what was wrong, she showed me how to fix it and even gave examples, as well as providing insight into what publishers are looking for.”
-- Trina Rea
Excellent, usable suggestions
“I highly recommend Lori's picture book critique services. Lori can whip your rhyming picture book into a rhythmic masterpiece with excellent meter. She offers excellent, usable suggestions not only on the meter but on the heart of the story, too. Her fee is very reasonable in this tough economy, and she is prompt with her response. Thank you for the much needed help, Lori!”
-- Kelly Polark
I can't wait to revise
“Thank you so much for the recent critique of my picture book story. Not only did you give wonderful suggestions to enrich the plot, but your positive compliments were very encouraging. Your clear explanation of stressed and unstressed syllables was very helpful. I can't wait to revise! I will definitely recommend your services to my fellow writers. Thanks again Lori, you rock!”
-- Cheryl Velasquez
“A thousand props for Lori Degman's critique! Lori critiqued one of my rhymed picture books and not only did she offer fabulous structural suggestions, but she got to the heart of the story instantaneously. Lori has an innate sense of rhythm, keen editorial eye and an instinct for the big picture. This critique was highly beneficial!”
-- Meg Fleming Lentz
Nothing has helped my manuscript more
“THANK YOU for the best critique of my manuscript at the June SCBWI conference. Despite missing our appointment due to my asthma attack you huddled with me in a crowded lunch room. And now that my kids are back at school and 2 months later I can finally review the notes you passed to me I can honestly say nothing has helped my manuscript more. Plus you were hilarious at lunch. Thank you! “
-- Paula Cohen Martin
“I trusted Lori with critiquing my story and I was not disappointed. She is efficient, cost-effective, flexible and personable. Comments on the overall story structure and line by line suggesting changes or word cuts were immensely helpful. In addition to helping me understand what needed correction, she was extremely helpful in pointing out the good areas as well and encouraging my style of writing. Last, but not least, she answered any follow-up questions that I had. I will definitely use Lori in the future. Thanks Lori!”
-- Norma Parr
"Lori’s critique of my rhyming picture book was a wonderful balance of encouragement and technique. She was thorough in her comments, addressed my specific challenges, gave excellent suggestions about rhythm and meter, and offered fantastic formatting ideas that literally brought my manuscript to life.
Thank you, Lori!”
-- Jennifer Kirkeby
Two thumbs up
“My rhyming picture book manuscript was in the right hands with Lori. Her critique was clear and specific, targeting the rhyme/meter along with the story's structure as a whole. Plus she was quick to answer follow-up questions, which I really appreciated. I'll absolutely be hiring her again. Two thumbs up!”
-- Suzy Levinson
Clear and concise
“Lori did a great job in critiquing my rhyming picture book. She was able to show me exactly where my meter needed work in a clear, concise way, and her suggestions helped me fix my weak areas. I will definitely be using her again in the future.
-- Pat Haapaniemi
Best critique I have ever received
“This is the best critique I have ever received. Thank you. It's all very clear and I look forward to revising!”
-- Golda Goldstein
Insights changed my approach to writing
“I found your workshop and one-on-one at the 2016 NJ SCBWI conference to be invaluable. Your insights truly changed my entire approach to writing in rhyme.”
-- Claudia Broglio
I plan on hiring her again
“I hired Lori to critique my rhyming manuscript and she was a tremendous help. Not only did she help me see where the issues with meter were, but she also showed me how I could make the introduction and ending much stronger. She has got a great sense of rhyme, rhythm AND story . . . and I plan on hiring her again with my next book!”
-- Kim MacPherson
A genuine treasure chest
“Lori Degman did a critique for me recently and actually counted the beat (literally every syllable!), in my entire 800 word PB manuscript to ensure that the rhyme’s meter and rhythm was perfect (and trust me, it was not!). Lori was skillful and professional in helping me find and fix each of the story’s weaknesses. She offered subtle suggestions, solid expert advice and some encouraging applause, too! Working with Lori was a fun and educational experience and her critique was a genuine treasure chest, absolutely brimming with golden nuggets of valuable information. I would highly recommend Lori’s services to all serious, aspiring authors."
-- Kenda Henthorn
Comments and pointers galore
"You read your own manuscript hundreds of times
You pass it to those who share their paradigms.
It’s changed and it’s shaped and it’s tweaked a bit more
With copious comments and pointers galore.
You know that there’s something that isn’t quite right.
You put it away, let it sit overnight.
You should have been smarter and sent it to Lori.
She’d help fix the meter and rhyme in your story.
She’d see what the others had not seen before,
Transforming that piece to a tale you’d adore.
A look-see from Lori, a fairly small fee…
It’s worth every penny, I fully agree!"
-- Diana Lynn Gibson